


Friday

by mrhiddles



Series: These Aren't Dark Times [High School Verse] [5]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, M/M, POV Thor (Marvel), Protective Thor (Marvel), Thor has feelings, Trans Character, ftm Loki, loki has schemes, trans loki, transgender loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 10:04:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14932175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrhiddles/pseuds/mrhiddles
Summary: Loki is his.





	1. Dream

Loki’s quiet during lunch, and Thor lets him be. Something is clearly bothering him, but Thor doesn’t want to push his luck after this morning. Which is probably what Loki is pissed about in the first place. But sometimes Loki just gets angry for no discernible reason, so Thor just resigns himself to chewing on his lower lip in silence.

A part of him is worried that Loki’s back on the speed, but he hasn’t seen him sneaking off at odd hours, so he shoulders that thought. Pushes it down and away.

Loki is huffing down at his food, a chorus of heavy sighs that picks at Thor’s head until it aches. Finally, he sets down the apple he’d been eating and gives in.

“You want to talk about it?”

Loki’s eyes widen and Thor smiles, trying to appear as nonthreatening as he can. Loki sneers at him. “No.”

“Loki,” he says, quiet. Loki slowly drags his eyes up to his. “I knew. Before today I mean. I’m not…mad or anything? Or grossed out? Whatever you thought I’d be?”

Loki blanches. “How did you know!” The words come out a cold hiss.

Thor blinks and picks up his spork to poke at Loki’s plate of lasagna. It’s an _attempt_ at food at best.

“I’m observant. You go to the pharmacy once a month with mom but you’re never sick.”

“Frigga told you?” Loki pins him with his usual glare, but Thor is so used to it by now he just smiles.

“I also notice I run out of shaving cream twice as fast as I did a few months back,” he tells him.

Loki goes pale in the face and after a long moment groans in embarrassment. “Jesus.”

“No, I’m Thor.”

Loki shoves his plate of food at him but he’s laughing while he does it.

Behind him, in the distance, Thor sees Sif waiting in line for food.

\--

Thor doesn’t have cleaning duty anymore, but he still hangs around Loki when he heads off to gym class. Thor’s always a little late for his English class, but he hardly cares if his presence for five minutes means the difference for Loki.

He won’t let Loki get hurt.

Loki is his.

The thought shakes him as he stands by Loki’s locker while he gets dressed in the school’s shirt and shorts. The school colors are red and yellow which Loki has made a point to say aren’t his colors several times.

Loki is rambling on about something now, but Thor doesn’t hear him. He can’t. Loki is his? Loki is his. Loki is…his.

It sounds good in his head.

Thor watches as Loki snaps his fingers in front of him and calls him an idiot twice before swearing and stalking off. “I’ll see you after school,” he calls back, clearly frustrated with him.

He doesn’t know what Loki would think if he told him his new thought. His idea. He thinks Loki might punch him in the nose, pull his hair, shove his face into a wall out of anger, disgust. He knows Loki likes to draw blood when he hurts, in any sense of the word. It wouldn’t matter if it was his own from hurting Thor, or Thor’s blood from the same.

Now that he thinks about it, maybe Loki just has a fighting problem. Maybe he should be worried about that instead.

Loud voices draw his attention to where Loki is walking out to class.

And then Thor sees them, the boys from before, Brant and his cronies. Isaiah isn’t with them this time, but it's another guy Thor’s caught sucking off a bong in the parking lot once. He’s a piece of shit too, and Thor marvels at how they run in packs.

They lope after Loki as he leaves the room and they start giggling amongst themselves. Brant catches sight of Thor as he turns his head. Thor scratches his nose and waits for the recognition to cross the bastard’s face. Brant’s still-purple eyes widen. Thor tilts his chin up, sending Brant a dark look that has him red in the face and hurrying out into the hall.

Loki is his.

\--

It’s Friday and Thor wakes up from a dream.

He’s hard and when he slaps a hand down on his lap to check, he finds a small wet spot where he leaked through his sheets. He sighs and sits up, the ghost of what happened in the dream at the edge of his vision, just out of reach.

Thor had been on top of some dark haired little thing, hips small and the muscles on his back undulating like gears in a clock. The thought of it has him sweating behind the knees and he bites his lip and reaches a hand beneath the sheets to grab himself. It’s quick and his hand is newly slick when he suddenly remembers the shock of dark hair, the name on the person’s tongue.

_“Thor! Brother!”_

It was Loki’s voice.

It was Loki.

When Thor looks over at his nightstand, his clock tells him he’s late for class.

\--

It’s Friday and Thor is nervous when he sees Loki approaching him lazily in the hall at his locker.

Loki leans to the side of where Thor is pretending to flip through notes to find _something_ , anything, anything at all to distract him from the thought of how tight, how smooth, how fucking _good it was_ —

“I heard you last night,” Loki tells him.

Thor’s hand slips and hits the back of his locker with a loud slam. A pair of girls to his right send him threatening looks.

“Sorry,” he mutters to them. Turning back to Loki, he sees two perplexed green eyes staring back at him, waiting. “Come again?”

_Yes, please._

What the fuck, he internally shouts at himself. Could Loki see the sweat on his forehead?

“You were singing. Again. I told you to let me know so I can put headphones in,” Loki says, rolling his eyes.

Thor just nods. Yes, yes he had been singing for a few minutes while he did his homework the night before. “You love my singing!”

“That is sadly a delusion of your own making.” Loki pauses, glancing at his feet before looking back up. “Want to catch a movie after school?”

“Huh?”

“God, what is with you this week? You’re so out of it. And today you’re late to class.” Loki snorts at him. “A movie. With me. After school,” Loki repeats to him, enunciating every word.

Loki takes a step closer and eyes him. There’s humor in his eyes and Thor fights to keep the nerves out of the smile he offers him. He shrugs, and Loki finally relents.

“Must be all the homework,” Thor says, the excuse weak.

I had you under me, I was inside you, you were clawing at my sheets and calling my name—

Loki is shaking his head. “If you need help I can take a look. Let’s meet at our usual spot then. And Sif wants to eat at the bleachers today, just a heads up.”

\--

It’s Friday at lunch and Thor can’t keep his eyes off Loki’s hands. Sif is teasing him about some boy in his AP history class and Loki is grousing at her, leaning forward, those long fingers of his gripping the metal bar spanning the length of the bleachers’ front row.

What would his hands look like gripping my headboard, Thor wonders.

Thor eats his food slow tries to keep his mouth occupied with the sandwich in his hands for as long as humanly possible. To avoid saying anything stupid. Anything irredeemable.

Loki bumps into him, cursing between rushed laughs as Sif digs her fingers into his side. Thor just keeps eating.

It’s not the first time he’s thought about Loki like this…but it’s been a while. And definitely not since Loki was taken in by his mom.

Before Loki was Loki, Thor had a crush on the kid who would gift him live frogs. The kid that painted their nails black before class because they’d pick at them through the one before. And then when Loki was Loki, he’d had a crush on the kid who punched him when he was pissed. The one who’d show up to school with a bloody nose and wrapped knuckles with a pack of cigarettes shimmying between sore fingers. The one who stayed at his house because sometimes he needed help with his biology homework, and Thor wasn’t even that great of a tutor. The kid who needed a break from home. The kid who had bruises on his thighs.

Loki, who looked at Thor like he was the world in one moment, and like he despised him the next.

Thor knew it was worse than a crush, way worse.

It’s been hard living with him. Hard because he already cared about him, and now that they weren’t just schoolmates he worried all the time Loki would find out. Be freaked out by him, not be friends with him anymore. Something bad he couldn’t control.

So Thor settles for just watching Loki when Loki doesn’t see him. For protecting him. For dreaming about something he’ll never have.

Loki laughs beside him and tries not to spill his tray of food.

And that’s okay, he thinks, if he gets to keep calling Loki his friend. Maybe even one day his—

“Brother! Help me!” Loki wails next to him, holding Sif off.

_Brother!_

“Uh,” Thor says, trying to ignore the jolt that goes through him, straight to his groin.

Sif has fire in her eyes. “Loki refuses to admit Charlie Hunnam is hot!”

“I never said I didn’t like beefy blonds! But damn, will you stop the assault? I’ve had enough, you clearly win,” Loki insists.

Thor sees Sif falter, a strange look on her face before she glances between the two of them. Then she sighs and goes back to eating her lunch.

Loki settles beside him once more and elbows him gently.

Eventually, as they walk back to class, Thor overhears Sif hiss to Loki, “You’re playing with fire.”

Loki grins at her and Thor doesn’t know what it means.


	2. Reality

It’s Friday and they’re at the local theater. It’s a small place with scratched screens, but they’ve been coming here for a few years now.

The lights are still on and Loki is snacking on popcorn beside him. Thor tries to control his breathing, before he asks, “You’ve never called me brother before.”

“That was the first time?” Loki asks, his tone innocent. Thor’s pulse thunders in his ears.

“Yeah.”

“Impossible. I’ve at least thought it two, three times before,” Loki tells him with a chuckle.

Thor nods as the lights start to dim down for the trailers.

“Thanks,” he whispers.

Loki turns to look at him and in the dark Thor can’t breathe. He can feel Loki’s breath on his face. And for the first time in a long time, he feels like it would be so easy to lean forward and kiss him.

But Loki would hate him.

So when Loki’s lips turn up into some small, soft smile, Thor just watches. Tries to remember how it feels. Imagines what it would be like if it meant something else.

\--

Thor is pulling on new sweatpants to sleep in when there’s a knock on his door. He calls out and Loki cracks the door open slowly, revealing himself inch by inch. He’s wearing a baggy shirt and shorts and his eyebrows are raised in something that looks like worry.

“What’s wrong?” Thor asks him.

Loki shuffles further into his room and shuts the door quietly behind him. Thor’s heart races for a number of reasons, but mostly he’s worried something bad has happened.

He scratches a hand through his hair, a shadow barely touching his shoulders. He shrugs, and Thor can see his cheeks are red.

“I had a question. Now that you know about me. Well, _have_ known about me, I guess, I….Um.” He lets out a harsh sigh and levels a near glare at Thor. “It’s a weird request.”

“What is it?” Just ask me, he thinks.

Loki waves a hand in his general direction. Thor laughs from nerves. Loki’s face reddens to the point Thor thinks he’ll start whistling out his ears.

“Loki.”

“Your penis,” he hisses. Then his eyes go wide and he rushes to explain before Thor can say anything. “I’ve never seen one and I just…I want to know what I—you know.”

Thor leans on his dresser, notices how Loki’s eyes roam over his bare chest. He’s embarrassed, and Thor can imagine why but he doesn’t know. It doesn’t make sense, not entirely. He’s missing some vital piece of information and he feels bad for it. Like he’s letting Loki down.

“I don’t know, Loki,” he murmurs. “I’m sorry, but I don’t get it.”

Loki glares at the floor. “If I ever, want…one. I don’t know.”

Thor just stares at him. Watches the way Loki shifts his weight from foot to foot when the silence drags on. His heart is steady again and he marvels that Loki is comfortable enough to ask _him_.

_Oh, thank god it’s him._

“You know, never mind. Stupid thing to ask. Forget it ever happened!” Loki snaps, still looking at the floor. His toes dig into the carpet as he turns, and Thor takes two wide steps and grabs Loki’s arm.

Loki whips his head around to glare at him. But there’s shock there too and Thor offers the best smile he can manage.

“Lock the door,” Thor tells him.

Loki’s throat moves as he swallows and Thor doesn’t bother masking that he saw it. That he was staring. Loki’s mouth twitches and then he says, “Did you hear me drop that pin, because really, that’s what just happened.”

“Shut up,” Thor breathes. Loki shakes his arm out of his grip and strides past him to sit in his desk chair. Thor turns the lock with a soft _click_ and turns. “You’re really thinking about surgery?”

Loki shrugs. “I’ll be eighteen next year. I’ve been researching it. It’s a lot of healing though.” When he meets Thor’s eyes, he’s pleading. “I want to know if it’s worth it. Worth the pain.”

But you’re so good with pain, Thor thinks. He remembers Loki’s bruised hands all those months ago. How he would grin something secret at him.

“So?” Loki asks, stare growing colder by the minute.

“I’m fine with it. Just tell me if you’re uncomfortable at any point.” Thor doesn’t voice his nerves. He is fine with it. He’ll do anything for Loki.

But he remembers his dream and he fights to crush down the memory to the farthest part of his brain.

“So what now?” Loki asks at the same time Thor edges his sweatpants over his hips. He’s just watching Loki, how his eyes widen, how he says a soft, “Oh.”

Loki glances up at him and when he sees the sheepish smile he has plastered onto his face, he keeps looking. He tilts his head, eyes roaming over his groin like it’s some new creature he’s just discovered. After a minute or so he scoots forward in Thor’s chair and peaks around the sides, trying to see what, Thor isn’t sure.

“I mean, is it nice? You’re looking at it like it’s a fungus.” Loki smirks at his words. “Loki?”

“Fungi aren’t technically bad, you know.”

“Some of them are,” he argues.

Loki snorts and brings his eyes to Thor’s, amusement clear. “Can I see what it looks like underneath?”

“Underneath my—” Thor starts.

“Testicles.”

Thor obliges, a nervous excitement coursing through him. Loki is genuinely interested, and he feels somewhat proud he’s trusted enough for this. He keeps thinking the thought over and over, how that wasn’t the case not even a year ago. At least not that he knows.

“Okay. Can you turn to the side?”

Thor does and Loki nods. He narrows his eyes.

“I don’t have an ass like yours. It won’t look good.”

Thor can’t hold back his laughter at that. Loki stands up to leave, Thor thinks, so he holds up his hands. “I’m laughing because a penis is a penis. You’ll look fine with or without one. People aren’t usually concerned with the aesthetics.”

Loki pauses at his words, eyes him with a thoughtful look.

“Guys don’t worry about that stuff?” he asks quietly.

“Not that I’ve experienced. I don’t. I’ve never seen one that’s a deal breaker, and I’m happy with mine.” Loki nods at that. Thor continues, “And if you do decide on it, I mean, you get to design your own right? You’ll be able to get exactly what you want?”

Loki hums.

“You’ll find good people who don’t care about it, not like you think they will. The right person won’t treat you different based on your genitalia. If you get the surgery or not, the right person won’t mind in the least, as long as they get to have _you_.”

Too close, too close, he tells himself.

Loki just nods, looking thoughtful again.

“Can I ask something else?”

His tone has changed, and it has Thor wondering why. “Of course, Loki.”

Loki sucks in his cheeks for a moment and then lets out a breath.

“Can I see how it looks with an erection? How it happens?”

Thor’s mind goes carefully blank at that.

“Are you sure?” Thor asks him, pulse curiously steady.

“I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t, Thor,” Loki says, waspish, tired.

Thor grabs himself and looks up at the ceiling. After a moment when nothing happens, Loki pipes up from where he’s standing. “Just think about Sif or something.”

“No thanks,” he laughs. “More like Hunnam.” His hand starts moving, and he hears Loki huff in frustration.

“Not you too!”

“He makes good movies?”

“Yeah, fine, alright,” Loki mutters and Thor can tell he’s watching each and every stroke of his hand.

When he’s fully hard, he lets his hand drop away. He doesn’t dare look at Loki.

But he can hear Loki’s breathing and it’s faster than it was a few minutes ago.

“So quick,” he comments flatly.

Thor risks glancing at him and Loki has a brow quirked up, still studying him.

“They’re _good_ movies,” he says again. Loki reaches out and shoves his arm a bit.

Loki _hms_ as Thor feels his dick bob in the air. He covers himself, suddenly aware of what exactly they’re doing.

Loki huffs and palms at his shoulders until his hands fall away again. “You’re alright, you fool. It’s alright,” he’s saying, under his breath.

“Anything else you’re curious about?”

Loki shakes his head, no. “Not right now I think.”

Thor waits a moment before pulling his sweats back on. Loki is leaning against his desk and staring at him.

“It won’t look the same. Natural. People will be able to tell.”

Thor’s heart breaks at the tone of his voice. “It doesn’t matter what people think. It matters what you think. I think if you go for it it’ll look just fine.”

Loki nods slow. He doesn’t look convinced. After another moment he straightens and mutters a _goodnight_ as he walks past Thor. But Thor turns and leans into him enough to get him to stop. They’re shoulder to shoulder and Loki is looking at the floor again.

“You know,” Thor whispers to him. “You don’t need surgery to be a man, Loki. You already are one.”

Loki sucks in the tiniest breath at that. Then, “I know.”

Thor grabs hold of Loki’s wrist and squeezes.

“I lied earlier. I’ve seen one…before. But it’s never like I wanted—never just like this. Like this.”

Thor thinks of the bruises he’d seen on Loki’s pale thighs when he first started staying with them. Thinks of his parents. Thinks of the locker room.

“I know,” Thor tells him. Loki goes tense in his hold and Thor squeezes his wrist again, hoping he understands. “But that doesn’t make you less of a man either, let alone any less of a person.”

Loki’s green eyes slide to meet his and they’re wet. His lip is shaky.

“I know that too,” Loki breathes.


End file.
